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04:52pm 01/05/2006
  HAIL TO THE KING BABY!!!  
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05:28pm 21/04/2006
  Fuck You Friday... One week since I end up once again on the singles market, which God knows I will most likely stay once again... and then this fucking week, $1400 for the transmission in my truck, $45 for the drug test for the new job, $60 for the rest of the car parts for the Chevelle so it can be running again... I put in my two weeks notice at the BP, leaving me to work this Sunday morning, and Tuesday/Thursday evening, then I am done because well, the lady at the new job told me it was mine, I did all the paperwork, so inturn they move Issac up to days and get my position covered, all is well... well, fuck that shit, heaven forbid that things just so happen to work out for once in my life, she calls me today and informs me that she decided to take back her word on hiring me and decided to move her overnight driver up to the day postition, because well, he just so happened to decide TODAY that he doesnt want to work nights anymore... so now, Bill has no job, has no girl, has no money, and is once again left out in the cold, gee thanks for this wonderful hand of cards life...  
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07:11am 12/04/2006
  Transmission went out in the truck last night up in Platte City... need to town it down here as soon as I get a moment... so yeah.. the only mode of transportation I have went out the DAY BEFORE the transmission fluid and filter appointment... ge thanks... so with the Chevelle still needing a ton of stuff, Bill now has no way of transportation... arg...  
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11:35am 07/04/2006
  Desperado... right now, at times like this, I honestly, truely, pray your wrong on that one Allee... you know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet...  
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11:16pm 31/03/2006
  Cant sleep... to much pain in my back and chest... and the doctors said I was making it up... and to just take pain pills... no idea what to do... feels like I am about to have a heart attack or something... x-rays came out fine... I guess I will just have to learn to live with the pain... refuse to live on pain meds for the rest of my life...all I can do is sit here or lay here and deal with it... this is going to be a long night...  
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09:51am 12/03/2006
  Not much to write about..just wanted to update... ok.. I take that back, there is so much to write about, but I am at work and dont really have the time to do write it all... everything in my world is wonderful, outside of having to work Sunday Mornings, when I would much rather be in bed, let along, with a beautiful woman... on that subject, everything in the relationship is delightful, what more could a man ask for... So to you Brooke, you are the reason why I still to this moment, have that grin on my face... well here comes some customers, guess I should go do my job...  
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06:09pm 02/03/2006
  Alright, so I am actually going to sit and write an update for a change... honestly, everything is going wonderfully. All and all, I am doing great.
In the case that you havent seen or heard, I have cut off 17 inches of my hair and giving the short hair thing a try for a while...
The Chevelle is coming along pretty good, just need some time with my father and turn some wrenches to get it driving again, damn I miss that car...
Ren Fest is starting back up, and I still dont know what I am fulling interested in this year... have a wonderful offer to join up with Ron Willard, and it sounds better and better every day...
Work is about the low part of it right now, my time in that automotive garage are about to an end, I just cant take most of it any more, to much drama, not enough pay, I know that many will say that that is any job one may find, but this is largely a family feud that is destroying something that was an amazing place, from every aspect...
As for my complete and utter lack of a relationship for so long, I can finally say that I am taken, for a change. Brooke Ryan is the lucky lady, or should I truly say that I am the lucky gentleman. Everything is going wonderfully, and at a healthy pace in my opinion. What more can a man ask for, a beautiful, intelligent, witty, Irish girl, and I have the honor of being with her. It is doing me good to have a female counterpart. Not sure what else to say on this one outside of my happiness, and a wonderful woman to be with.
Just trying to make everything work, so far so good... so yea, there is my life in short, and I can finally say that I am happy with it all.

-Bill
 
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06:49pm 29/12/2005
  I have officially gone from the early 70's to the late 70's now... good times... so differnt... 14 inches donated...

"Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, Oh Boy!, got to sit down, take a rest on the porch, imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singing... doo doo doo looking out my back door..." -CCR
 
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02:40pm 30/11/2005
  Racheal is back in town!!!! That just fills me with Joy, damn I have missed her, and she is back here in KC until the Spring Semester I believe. I have been in the need of a Racheal fix for some time now. That being the highlight of my day, since I feel like crap, look like crap, need to deposit money into the bank so I can pay my bills, and know that I will catch hell tomorrow at work for having to call in sick on a day they were already short staffed, even though I have never called in sick unless I had to... arg...

So now it is off to go check on my estimates for the Chevelle, go to the bank, and stop by and see Racheal before class tonight, which I really dont want to go to because I feel like shit and cant even focus for 20 minutes to finish up some homework, let alone a 4 hour class tonight...
 
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04:16pm 24/11/2005
  Best night of sleep in a long time, I woke up this morning with a grin on my face, (and not in a perverted way your freaks..lol)... but yea, I had a lot of things in my life put back in perspective last night, also finally had my eyes see what my heart was feeling...  
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07:48pm 22/11/2005
  To a fault...that is the point that I care...to a fault... on the inside, I know both pain and achievement... if only people know it all... "a warm embrace, I remember it well, and the tears that are in her eyes..." ... I have fought that war, on the inside, where you are your own worst enemy...I made a vow, to myself and the Man above, to save everyone that I care about... in the end I know it will be the death of me, but it is a self-rightous suicide that I am alright with, aslong as the path I walk is rightous, and just for those that I can save... it hurts really bad right now... a pain that I have long since felt until now, but the feeling always lingers... "and I dont know what to do... and she makes me sad...I wont let this build up inside of me..." ... life will go on, it always does... but I walk this line alone, I always have, and I always will... when your mouth begins to dry, so do the words one can use to express how they feel... and I am to that point... I am not mad at her... just at it all... old scars like not to bleed once more... it isnt her, it is everything of times past, just collapsing back down...  
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10:18am 29/09/2005
  Update.. just for Steph, and the 3 other people that actually read this from time to time.  
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11:10pm 29/06/2005
  Give me back my bullets, put them back where they belong. Aint going to see no more damage done...  
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11:24pm 19/06/2005
  Anthem for the Year 2000 by Silverchair


We are the youth
We'll take your fascism away
We are the youth
Apologise for another day
We are the youth
And politicians are so sure
We are the youth
And we are knocking on death's door
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so sure
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so small
Never knew we were living in a world
And the world is an open court
Maybe we don't want to live in a world
Where innocence is so short
We'll make it up to you
in the year 2000 with...

Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so sure
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so small
Never knew we were living in a world
And the world is an open court
Maybe we don't want to live in a world
Where innocence is so short

We'll make it up to you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000
Make it up to you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000 with you

Never knew we were living in a world
With a world that could be so sure
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so small
Never knew we were living in a world
And the world is an open court
Maybe we don't want to live in a world
World who cares at all

We'll make it up to you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000
Make it hard for you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000
Make it hard for you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000 with you
 
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08:03pm 10/06/2005
  Warning: Morals and Ethics argued below, please pass if you dont want to hear about my problem with people in power that claim to be above their own fractured standards...

I cuss, listen to heavy music, drive faster then I should, and make poor decisions, every person does things similar to this, it is human nature. I can let things go, with the plee of the persons ignorance to their choices, but when a person, who claims to be better then everyone else because he has found his peace through Christ causes me to appologize for his actions and treats me like shit for asking him to please turn down the music I dont take it lightly. So Patrick and Brian were installing subs in Brians new POS car of the week, listening to piss poor rap and bull shit like that. A man and his child pulled up for me to plug a tire, as the tracks change on the CD to one of the most offensive songs, containing plenty of obsenities for the family to hear. After appologizing twice I turn and tell them to watch the langauge in the music I get glared at then ignored. Mind you Brian would like for everyone to come and listen to his sermon on Sunday, even though just being in the bays we get one everyday of the freaking week... never in my life did the term "two weeks notice" sound so tempting... Yes Brian, it sure does seem you found your God, throw it in my face one more fucking time and it wont be pretty you fucking contradictory asshole.
 
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01:04pm 05/06/2005
  "Never did I want to be here again, and I dont remember why I came..."

I am back to writing stories again, the usual assortment of short stories and what not, and working again on my larger ones to pass my shortlived down time... other then that last night was pretty wild with the storm. Jake and I decided to stay home with the storm moving through, and made it inside from playing with his submarine in the lake just in time from a massive downpour, then after that we played StarWars Games for a bit, then lightsabre battled in the rain, it was grand. Sorry to the Manor crew for not making it out, for we are both entirely to broke to afford the trip, and the weather was against us also. I need Friday to come again for a pay check, I dont like this living between paychecks feeling, and I need to get my finances together again... the lottery never seemed sweeter...
 
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01:30am 05/06/2005
  Why cant I find the point where I can just stay happy? Will that be my downfall? I have no real reason to not be the happiest that I can be, but something inside of me is always with-held... I just want everything to work out, and everyone to just be happy, but I know that I cant do that...
Potter made a point today that has really hit, that in people you can sense them, figure it out, feel their darker side when things happen, and feel their lighter side in contrast, he said you has everyone figured out except me, then I got to thinking, no one has figured me out, all the pieces are out there, but they will never be put all together, they are spread out among so many, and most of them dont even realize it...
It isnt easy to say 'I am sorry' but I feel like I have had to say it alot, and it kills me a little bit more on the inside when it happens. How can I tell him that I miss him and want him to come back and be around without saying sorry for the gap that has grown; how do I tell him that he is the one in this world that I admire more then anyone, and the one that I strive to be like without saying sorry for the times that I have failed; how do I tell her that I really do care and would like to someday have work out without saying sorry for making you hurt over the years; how do I make it all work without saying sorry for the times that it doesnt...
"I've been sitting here, trying to find myself, get behind myself, I need to rewind myself, looking for the payback, listen for the playback, they say that everyman bleeds just like me... and when your walls come crumbling down, I will always be around... and when your walls come tumbling down, I will always be around... People dont know about the things I say or do, they dont understand the shit that I've been through, its been so long since I've been home, I've been gone for way to long, maybe I've forgot all the missed, I know there is more to life then this, I've said it to many times, and I still stand firm, you get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.. still I aint seen mine, no I aint seen mine, I've been giving and just aint been getting... I've been walking that there line, so I think I'll keep a walking with my head held high, I'll keep moving on, and Only God Knows Why....Only God... Only God... Only God Knows Why.... Why.... Why... Why... take me to the river..."
Sometimes I really wonder... I know its a wonderful world, and I do enjoy every moment I have, I just feel that I need to do more soul searching and find myself at large... in hopes that then I will have it all together, but will they all wait, or just move on?
 
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The Fruits of my Labor.. that just sounds funny   
11:34pm 01/06/2005
  Well, enjoying a fine diner of week old chinese food that is cold, a pepsi, and a bag of cheetos puffs... all this after a long day, mind you I have been all across greater KC, to Lee Summit, and to Platte City (twice, fucking Certified...) and then back to the shop to finish my shift with Jake, because they fucked up in the schedule again... good stuff... other then that I am flat line broke, like the kind of broke that you have to figure out if you should pay this months bill for the car, or put gas in the car to get to work... other then that just been really busy, and need a down day hardcore, or "Bill Time" as people call it, yet those people tend to call me on my down days to go hangout... gotta love friends, seriously...lol, well later all, I miss everyone!

-Bill
 
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09:56pm 25/05/2005
  People are really pissing me off right now... I love how some can show up to work half baked, or not even fucking show up, and all is fine... But when I am late by 10 minutes, or forget to do something during the night, or Jake makes the comment, "why should I be on time when others get away with it or dont even show..." and all we get is treated worse... fuck this shit... yet I am typing this at work... talk about working the time clock... but the whole standards thing is fucking bull shit... the whole situation is fucked... you have the stoner bosses, the holier then thou but is far from christian but has found the lord therefor he is always right... dont get me wrong, I have nothing against religious view, I am fully supportive of people and their beliefs, but dont fucking corner my about listening to heavy metal and being myself when you have been in the hole your whole life and were able to finally find yourself just to do dirty little side work for an easy buck... So now I go home, load a fucktardedly violent video game and take out my frustration and rage out on computer generated people....

(I really am not always this negative, just things just fell apart again tonight...)
 
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BAH   
08:56am 17/05/2005
  You know what pisses the fuck out of me, the bullshit televisions shows that do nothing more but pollute the world with their crap... Bullshit that focuses on fuckoffs like Britney 'Fuckface' Spears, what a fucking joke, you can see inside of their world and they get high dollar from it all... what the fuck, if they want chaos like they claim their life is then let me know, I can arrange for plenty of twists next season, because we all know that shit like Fox will keep them around for AT LEAST 2 seasons, but hell, if they want chaos I can arrange for plenty of that, brakes go out on their $100Grand Bling-SUV, or their house suddenly explodes...fuck... then you have our wonderful National Icon, Paris 'my life is a joke' Hilton... I mean come on, what a fucking Slut/Bitch/Fuck-off/Failure/Disgrace/Ugly/Dumb-ass that finds humor, while turning millions in the process, in ruining peoples lives and making nothing more but a pathetic joke out of the middle class, yet the US loves her and furthers her Empire of Bullshit... For those that have to Fucking work for everything they have in this world, and yet the media feeds this fucking bullshit of an image... and people really wonder why most of the world hates us?  
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